Lack motivation? Setbacks? What to do…

I coach people who want to change their life, their income, their happiness and their wealth vibe. Whenever we decide to make major changes in our life we encounter resistance. That is just the way it is. We have ingrained habits, automatic reactions, thoughts and feelings and deeply grooved neural pathways that all support what we now desire to change. It does not just up and fly out the door the second you decide to change. I wish it did, believe me! The best way to think of it, so you do not get frustrated and lose momentum and passion, is to simply see it as if you were learning a whole new subject, music insrtrument, job skill or sport. It is just the same, you are installing new ideas, thoughts, feelings, skills and ways of BEing. If you look at it this way, you can go into it knowing it will take a little time, maybe not long, but at least a little and effort, focus or practice. You may get frustrated, but since your intent is to learn it, then you simply get up and try again, over and over till you get it down.

Here is part of an email coaching session with a coaching client who is dealing with setbacks, lack of energy, procrastination after major progress and a perceived business set back. I think most people can relate to feeling like “I guess I am afraid it will take too long…that I may as well give up now and just be happy with my job…”

“…. So in the meantime, remember when you make any changes to your life that are major, even small ones sometimes too, it is a process of changing habits, thoughts, and neural pathways in your brain. Your ego and other internal systems, that have operated the same way for a long time, are designed to keep you ’safe’ by keeping you the same/stuck.  Your disappointment with the smoke shop simply dulled your energy and the other family events going on appeared to be also pulling you back.

Similar to parts of you, your family and those close to you will have to adapt to your changes and most people do not like change, in you or anything. This is why we must listen to our own inner voice and move on based on what is within us, not on what is outside of us, even those we love. You must realize that as you change and embrace your power, some people will not like it, but it is just energy and you will begin to attract new people who match the new you based on the new vibrations you are sending out.  Often people do not make the changes they really want in their lives because it feels, initially, that all the forces within them and around them are holding them back and the breakthrough seems harder than it is.
Good news! This is part of the transformation, and the reality is this feeling of being stuck is only skin deep. The key is to choose your new vibrations (thoughts, feelings, reality, beliefs, attitudes…) and keep steady to it, no matter what. Tell yourself that there is nothing more important that staying focused on who you are becoming and what you want and do your best to not let the other stuff distract you.
All the feelings you describe below are easier to understand if you look at it like a little kid having a temper tantrum… that is kind of what your ego and current state are doing to keep you stuck. “Why bother”, “it will be too much work”, “it will never work”, these kinds of things are the limiting beliefs talking. Procrastination is also fear of failure or success. I feel you are having more of a fear of success process. This usually goes something like this: “Why am I working so hard, nothing works out for me anyway. I’ll probably do all this and still get nothing for it. And what is I do get successful Then I have to work hard all the time, and people will expect things from me, I am fin the way I am now, no I am not happy, but how do I know I will really  be any happier when I do all this. What is I succedd and people want money from me? What is I make money and lose it? What if the clients I am trying to get don’t like what I do, or get mad, or cancel… I will look bad and be embarrassed. It is easier if I just don;lt put my self out there and get noticed. I mean I have to contact all these people and what if they say no, and don’t like what I have. It;s all just a waste of time, I am fooling myself thinking things can get better…” and so on…

You know you want more, and there is no going back now, you have tasted a happier life. There is a phase where it feels to hard to go forward and not possible to go back, and that is natural. It is possible for you to have more money and time and anything else you want. Think of this as if you are learning a new job, a music instrument or game. You have to study it, practice, look at your results, practice more keep reminding yourself of this ‘new’ way of being and so on.
You are NOT being lazy, that is a self defeating thought that is not you, it is the resistance. All the thoughts are. You just have to do whatever you can, moment by moment, day by day, to stay focused on your end goal, the feelings of happiness and inner peace you will feel when you have extra income and extra time. Each day it becomes easier and more habituated, until one day you will naturally think and feel this way and just go about your day like this.
It can be easier when you have someone who holds your dream as well, and yet , in truth, you are the one who makes it happen. So if you do not have anyone who ‘gets’ this, no worries, I am here and befriend yourself. Talk to yourself and help yourself, step by step to take a little action doing what you know you want to do to get the business going.
To get back on track simply be gentle with yourself, and to take small steps till your energy and emotions shift to more positive ones. The key is not to beat yourself up and feel guilty because you got off track and disappointed. This is a waste. So do what you can to not indulge in the feelings and thoughts like this. When you feel yourself thinking this way and feeling low or your energy dropping, stop and close your eyes. Take a breath and step back from yourself. Watch the thoughts and feelings move by in front of you like a stream, just be there. Allow the emotions to subside. Make sure you do not grab hold of any of them. By this I mean if you ’see’ the thought “am I lazy? What’s wrong with me?” be aware not to ‘grab’ it and run with it and start saying more thing like “Yea, I know and I always will be and it won’t change and why do I bother…”… you see? Separate yourself from the stream of depleting thoughts  and let them keep moving by, do not dive into them and go deeper. You may have to stop yourself a few times and redirect yourself back to watching instead of participating. This is normal, just keep stepping back, over and over till you can sit and watch. Once the feelings are not as intense,  then you can start to ask yourself this:
“This is not the real me, the real me is joy, prosperity, happiness, energy. This is just the old habits talking, and I can change those. Now I choose to feel I can do it, I choose to focus on the great life waiting for me just around the corner. Now I feel more calm, and I am feeling like the storm has passed and that is good, cause now I can look out with a clear view again and focus on the way I know my life can be, really is and will be shortly. I am in control of my thoughts and feelings, and I now choose energy, focus, happoiness….” you get the point, just slowly talk yourself up into a better feeling. It is not possible to accomplish when we feel low and defeated. So don’t try to make major changes when you feel like that, first allow the thoughts and feeling to move through you (do not supress or ignore them too long, as they get stuck, allow them to move through you ). Once the wave is over, you can begin to focus on feeling better,
When things do not go the way we hope, it simply means there is something better coming… hold the framework of “everything is an opportunity : firmly in your mine. Decide that even though the evidence showing up may not yet reflect this, that you KNOW, you BELIEVE, it is in the process of being created and delivered to you.  Use the experience to see new ways of doing things, and ask ‘what can I do in this situation next time that will best create the outcome I desire”.
For now I would think of things that make you feel good and do them, pick your energy up and choose one thing to focus on that will be easy to do and you will feel good when it is done. Once you accomplish it, write it in your proof journal (if you have one look back at your past successes and read them, very inspiring!) and then do a small celebration, go have ice cream or take a nap or whatever you like best. Then choose one more thing… think of it like you fell down a canyon and you simply have to climb back to the top and continue on, it is just energy and energy changes all the time!
Decide to adopt the attitude “Nothing can stop me from uncovering my dreams and living my abundant happy life, and this is just a bump on the road!”  Meditate, visualize your goals and then set a date to work on your … most important idea…. for 10 minutes only, just sit down and do something… then again….
Love, Nan”

Is your past in the way of your wealth?

“.…that nobody needs your help. I know, I know…this is a difficult one. But it is true. Yet this does not mean no one wants your help, or that no one could use your help. It simply means the thought that another Aspect of Divinity is powerless without you is inaccurate. Do not do something, therefore, because you think someone else needs you. That only builds resentment. Do whatever you do as a means of deciding, declaring, creating, and experiencing who you are–and who you choose to be. Then you will never feel victimized, powerless, or without choice. Yes? You see how simple it all is? Get out of victimhood.” Neal Donald Walsh

As a coach I work with people on any issue at all that blocks their ability to be happy, focused and attract wealth.
This is often a past event that is standing in our way. We allow the past to have so much power over us, it drains us of the energy we need in the NOW moment. Why do we need that energy? To create the life we want, to attract wealth love, joy, health and experience life the way we want it. Let go of the past and the pain, the fear of loss. Let go of the need for approval, the desire for those who hurt you in the past to apologize and focus only on what you want now. The past is only good for accessing those feelings we have had of success, love, happiness, power, confidence, let the rest go.

If you want to create wealth and all the goodies that come with it, take time now to release the past and choose not to feel betrayal, pain, victimized, weak or in any way depleted by anyone or any event in your past. Here is part of my response to a client who is dealing with low energy and motivation due to past events with people who she feels betrayed her. Sound familiar to anyone? Yea, me too! Here is the key though, we can move through it, gain enormous strength, courage, ability and confidence when we move through these feelings into focusing again on creating our lives. She is purchasing the ‘Transform your life class’; “Escape the Victim Vibe”. It is a powerful 2 hour class for less than $20 that helps you transform feelings of powerlessness, not good enough and betrayal into ones one personal power and the ability to choose. I personally am using the “Escape the Victim Vibe” Transformational Essence, and have been for over a month. It is very powerful in helping me to release the feelings over my ex and the divorce. If you have any feelings like this, please see if this resonates with you, because I have seen miracles happen and I want you to feel powerful, confident and energetic again, able to create your life the way you want it!

I wanted to share this with you, I hope it helps!

“Thank you so much for expressing how you feel so openly! I appreciate it, and your kind words to me! I want you to know that even though, in this moment, you feel sad, down, betrayed and lacking energy, that the real you, the inner you that is still there, just beneath these feelings, is still that happy, “go-getter.” You can transform what happened into more strength and a more open and loving heart. It may benefit you to think like this : “I am not going to let anyone steal my life, my joy, my dreams, my happiness”, and realize that those ‘friends” who you feel betrayed you, are people who you were no longer aligned with, people move in and out of our lives and despite the circumstances, it is because we are ready for something new. They most likely were not going to support what you were moving into in your life, so let them go. Begin with thanking them in your mind for the good times and then forgive yourself and them for how things ended and then consistently move your focus back to what you want now. Remember everyone has challenges, and it is about what you do now that matters. Let the past go. It does not help you now, so focus on what you want tomorrow to be like and the next day and fill your mind and heart with those feelings of joy and love and happiness and wealth, purpose… re-access the feeling of being a go-getter, tune in to the real you and let it out, that is what matters, not what happened in the past.
Also don’t base your happiness or self worth on what ANYONE else thinks, says or does. Starting to shift that now will empower you beyond belief! You are more than competent, more than qualified and more than intelligent to do anything you desire. Your energy is a precious resource. You feel like you are barely getting by now, because all your energy is drained in feeding these past events and the pain you feel. Remember to watch where you are sending your energy and consciously pull it back into you. Stop keeping the past alive and depleting your energy to create the life you want right now. Use your energy for your new desires, dreams and accomplishments. Get yourself excited about what you want and focus on that. ”

Class #1: Escape the Victim Vibe: take back your power now and always 2 hour class available on mp3 download (you can put it on your Ipod, mp3 player, computer or burn to a disc) $19.97

or go to http://www.createyourownrealitynow.com/transform-now/

Thanks for being willing to transform your life, you uplift us all!
Namaste, Nan